end of life post 2

I kept myself strong, shedding silent tears, hugging him back and soothing him the way our mother would. Deena walked towards me tugging 5alid behind her. “Dalal!! I missed you!” she giggled tugging at my jeans to get my attention. Her big eyes looking up at me and her arms reaching forward wanting to be carried, I couldn’t help but smile and laugh as I picked her up. I couldn’t help but notice how she changed, out of all of us she looked the most like our mother.
I hugged her and kissed her “I missed you too Dan Deena!”

Putting her down I wiped S3oods face “Bs 7abeebi, 5anroo7 il bait al7een oo we can all sit and talk if you want”
Khalid came over and hugged me, he silently said “hello” with one of his looks and walked ahead. His back was rigid as he walked, his tall frame looked exhausted, like a man that had lost the most important part of his life…and he has. He didn’t seem to be able to talk about his feelings at all.

We put the bags in the car and 5alid drove us home, I took his hand in mine and said “Tara I understand…we’re all going through the same thing..” he squeezed my hand but didn’t say anything back as he stared ahead at the road.
We parked the car in front of the house, 5alid took the kids in and told me he would be back to get the bags. I didn’t want him to do all the work so I decided to open up the truck (daba) of my brother’s escalade. My blue Adidas duffle back was wedged between my 4 suitcases. I tugged on it and one of the large suitcases was about to fall on me, but a pair of strong hands stopped it from hitting me.

I look up expecting it to be 5alid…but it wasn’t. I chuckled embarrassed and said “thanks.”
He looked down at me and said “you’re welcome.” Placing the suitcase on the ground, I looked him up and down, noticing his tan and his muscles. He wasn’t one of the guys with a lot of muscle that looked gross. It was nice, just right, and almost perfect if there were such a thing. His eyes were a gorgeous chocolate brown, with long lashes.

He flashed me a smile and said “Salmee 3ala 5alood….” He looked down at the ground then looked up and said “3atham ala ajrich” his eyes piercing right through me, he reminded me of my mother’s death and tears began to fall once again. I just nodded at him and looked away, not wanting him to see my tears as I said “ajerna oo ajrik” he pulled down the rest of the bags and said “goodbye.”

Life is not fair

The sky was clear; the sun’s rays reflecting off or the airplane. As I glimpsed out the window the sun looked beautiful through the clouds, this bought back a memory and tears began streaming down my face.

“Shoofay daloola, basich bachi 7abeebti” said my mom nudging my shoulder “look at how beautiful the clouds are.” She always had ways of comforting me with words and stroking my hair.
Since I was a little girl I had a fear of flying, but that day she made all my fears go away. That was 14 years ago, I’m 21 now. I’m on my way back to Kuwait for my mother’s funeral; she had just died in a car accident. I was already filled with the guilt of studying abroad and not having the chance to spend time with her. I chose my education over the chance at memories; I don’t think I could ever forgive myself.

“Passengers please put on your seatbelts and put your seats in upright position we will land in 5 more minutes” said the stewardess over the intercom.
I put my seatbelt on and rested my head against my pillow, closing my eyes and day dreaming as the plane prepared to land. The sudden movements as it descended mad my stomach tickle.
“This is your captain welcoming you to Kuwait, it is 7:05 a.m. and the climate is currently at 30 C. we here at British Airways hope you enjoyed your flight and hope you have a wonderful stay. Thank You” said the pilot.

I took my seatbelt off, fixing my black short sleeve blouse and dark denim jeans. I looked like one of those wannabe goth girls with my dark clothes and equally dark hair, but for once I didn’t care about my appearance.
I wanted to get home and climb into my mother’s bed and cry. I got through customs and took my bags; I began to hesitate as I walked towards the sliding doors, knowing my older brother would be there with some of my siblings, I had to be strong for them, after all I was their big sister.